Jehovah Sneaky, that's what some people call the Lord. Just when you think you know what He's trying to teach you, He sneaks something totally unexpected in there! Well, that pretty much explains my morning. I thought about how on earth I would be able to meditate on one verse for an entire month and actually get something new from it each day. I began to second guess myself regarding this blog. That was yesterday.
The passage, Psalm 16:11 is one I have actually been thinking on for a couple of weeks now, really seeking direction in what steps to take next as far as my work. I came across the opportunity 2 days ago to rent a little spot and sell my wares. I love working with my hands, creating, turning ugly things into 'a thing of beauty', as my dad liked to say. But the cost to rent the spot is a bit of a risk for me, as things are tight financially. I need to make money...not spend it. I know it 'takes money to make money', nevertheless, it's a risk and the truth is, I don't want to fail.
So, as I've pondered Ps. 16:11, 'you will show me the path of life', I have also prayed it aloud, really more of a declaration, 'thank you Lord, that you WILL show me the path of life', for my life! This part of focusing on a verse for a month is really important. If it is going to become something I truly believe, I need to start believing it, declaring it, owning it...because it is God's living and active word...and it doesn't return void, it just is and it just does what is says, period. (regardless of how I feel)
Well, this is where my surprise comes in. And this is where I get really vulnerable. When I was praying the other morning, asking the Lord to reveal any blocks in my life, any hindrances to knowing Him better and seeing Him clearly, at the end of my prayer a little tiny thought snuck in. You might call it a 'still small voice'. And what it said was this, 'no one sees me'. Hmmm. I took notice and thought it was something worthy of further prayer.
That further prayer came today. And boy, I was not expecting what He showed me. As I prayed and listened (after a million thoughts tried to distract me), what I finally heard the Lord say struck me like a lightening bolt. "You don't want to be seen. You are hiding. There's an affinity with the darkness, it feels safe." Ouch. Can I just say ouch, because it is so true. Affinity with the darkness? No thank you!!! I don't want that. But oh, to step out and take a risk, to expose myself to the world, and in turn step into the light...has been too risky for me. Yet He's been preparing for this for a good year now...and it is time. I repented and renounced the affinity with the darkness, cut off those ties, and I am seeking to embrace the truth He has shown me.
In a real practical way my first step is to sign on for my little spot, put myself out there and take a risk. It is so much more than a monetary risk, it is about putting myself out there, trusting the Lord and not my own inadequate ways of 'protection', and it is about truly finding life...not just the path I should be on but the LIFE in the path. I am literally blown away at the timing of me finding the spot, praying through if I should do it or not, and then Him showing me the that I've been hiding in the dark and I need to step out! Now I can move forward with total peace! Not a coincidence; just my loving God and Father, showing me the path of life. And I suspect the things that He will be teaching me, will have a lot more to do with my spirit than with what sells or doesn't sell. I am so grateful that our sneaky God is so much bigger than our own hearts, and protective ways...big enough to break through our own self-deception and set us free with the Truth.
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