Letting go

Have you ever wept over your child? Have you experienced anguish, anxiety, angst, worry, fear, and unbelievable love that feels like it could explode out of your chest? A myriad of emotions that are, at times, overwhelming, irrational, compelling, unexplainable, utterly primal?  I have. Age isn't a factor, money isn't a factor, status isn't a factor. A parent is a parent is a parent.  And in trying times, whether it is sickness, separation, sadness, concern...there is an overwhelming feeling of love, wanting the best, even fearing the worst...and an accompanying feeling of helplessness, and lack of control. As our children age and choose their own path, one of the most difficult things to do is to let go and let them stumble, fall, even crash and burn. With the wisdom that comes from age, faith and experience, it is sometimes excruciating to watch from the sidelines without inserting the 'answers', and to let them find their own way...just like I found mine.

In Luke 19, Jesus is entering Jerusalem, but first He weeps over her. He knows He is the answer to her peace, and yet she refuses to see, to hear, to believe. She is determined to do it her way, without acknowledging Him, refusing to believe Him, utterly against Him. And again in Mathew 23, Jesus laments,
 'Jerusalem, Jerusalem, how often I have longed to gather your children together, as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings, but you were not willing.' 

Not only was she not willing, but she was actively going in the opposite direction. But note Jesus' heart was one of love, mercy and desire for her peace, knowing He was that very peace and yet giving her the choice to accept it or reject it. Oh, how many times have I been there? Maybe not with salvation, but with those daily things where I am saying, "No thank you, I've got this one." And He lets me. And I'm sure it has grieved Him.  Yet I see the picture of a weeping Jesus, longing to scoop me up His arms because He really does love me so. That's a beautiful picture, a beautiful story. But it is so much more than that. Can you feel it, can you sense His arms around you, can you relate? It's not just a picture, it hits home because it fits. We were made for those arms to scoop us up. I can relate because I get it. I get the longing and the love, the desire for the best for my kids, and I know you get it, too!

We are in relationship with a protective, loving, relate-able God. A Father who went to the greatest extreme to gather us under His wing, one who weeps over us. I find that very comforting. Not that I want to be 'that child', that causes Him to weep, but that He does! I am comforted by the maternal, nurturing part of Him that I can relate to on a very human level. In fact, I love it. And it makes me love Him, and want to know Him more!