Gratitude is the sign of noble souls...

Gratitude is the sign of noble souls,I saw the phrase on a little framed needlework picture at a thrift store. It stirred something in me. It convicted me,too. So I bought it. I want a noble soul! But I have to admit, if gratitude is the sign...then I fear my life has been a far cry from one of nobility. I hung that little picture in my bathroom as a reminder of something to strive for. Okay, so I might be a little melodramatic here, but I think it's changing my life. The last few years tried to kick my butt and for the first half, they did just that. I lived under a heap of fear and anxiety and hmmm, what is the opposite of gratitude...oh, how about whiney-ness? That may not be in Webster's dictionary, but it is definitely the right word!

So what's changed? I guess me. Certainly some circumstances have changed for the better, and some for the worse. But how do you ride out the storms of life without capsizing? It's all about power. A speaker once reminded me that we are all very powerful people. How so? Choice. Choice makes me powerful. And I can wield that power one of two ways...for blessing or for cursing. 

Of course my go to guy (that would be God)says it best:
"I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live; 20 that you may love the Lord your God, that you may obey His voice, and that you may cling to Him, for He is your life." Deuteronomy 30:19-20

Choose life. The thing that is changing me is my choices. My life is far from perfect. There are many opportunities for me to choose worry or anxiety right now, but I can honestly say that I am not! I am choosing gratitude. Oh trust me, there are times I want to go have a pity party or blame my circumstances on somebody else, and it's then I'm reminded that I have a choice! I can focus on what I don't have or I can choose to look at what I do have, and I have so much to be grateful for. I realize that a life spent comparing oneself to others, wishing my circumstances away,and whining about what I can't do, get, be or whatever...is a colossal waste of my time. Sadly...I've lived there, for too many years, and I'm not proud to admit it. But happily, I am not there now. 

Back up to the verse from Deuteronomy. I think what we choose matters! It's not that I get to choose to drown my fears, or medicate them. Shop them away or buy myself into oblivion. Eat myself into happiness or whatever...it's choosing life.It's choosing what breathes life into your situation. Jesus claims to be the way, the truth and the life, and I for one can attest that He is! He is the anchor of a happy and grateful heart! When I tie myself to His presence, His purposes, His plans, and His very true words...I can be grateful, even when stuff is flying around me that is out of my control. Even when bad stuff happens. There is always, always, always something to be grateful for. There is a reason He tells us to give thanks in all things...it's certainly not for His benefit. Loving parents don't tell their kids what to do or not to do for their own benefit...it is always for the blessing, protection, direction, or life lesson of the child. The same is true with every single thing the Lord tells us. To choose life, to choose gratitude...only benefits me. It fills my heart with light and life, and with the very Presence of the One who shares His light and life with us...and who doesn't want and need that? Really.

I Need You!

I need you, Muckpie! I need you! Let me tell you right now that my heart melts when my 1 year-old (soon to be 2) granddaughter throws up her arms and utters those sweet words. How can a Grammie (aka Muckpie), resist those simple terms of endearment? This one can't. I was reading Matthew 6 yesterday and it is so rich with the simplicities of faith. And really, don't we serve a simple God? One who allows us to jump on His lap with arms stretched out declaring, I need you, I need you! I was praying the other day and a picture came to mind of Jesus, throwing open the curtain, so to speak...laughing with joy, to expose the throne room! A room where I have access to the very presence of God. A play room for my heart! A place where there is joy, love and, well, simply grace!

Spend some time in Matthew 6 and here is what you'll find. We have a good Father in heaven. He is approachable, he gives good things to His kiddos, He tells us not to worry about anything (especially the basics...like food, clothes, bills to pay, jobs). He says He's got it all covered. He knows what we need before we ask, but He wants us to ask (now if I am honest, I think I would have to admit that sometimes I wished my kids would STOP asking). Think of your best parenting moment...or if you aren't a parent, the best parented moment in your life. Whether on the giving or receiving end...how did you feel? Was there love, joy, sacrifice, pleasure all rolled into one instant? Oh that I could really, really get it. The love of God shed abroad in my heart. Because He is the author of parenthood! He invented it, and what a brilliant invention...because it lets me peek into His heart for me! Even though my best parenting moment is just a period at the end of a boring sentence...compared with His soul piercing, shame blasting, unfettered love for me, for you, for us, forever!

All of us get this glimpse, because we all know the value of our loved ones, we have families. We have children, nieces, parents, grandparents, siblings. We know that, at the end of the day, whatever else has occurred...it's our family that matters the most. It is the unseen, but oh, so very felt, love that withstands all of the assaults of this world. And that it the simple message Jesus came to give us. That indeed, we have a Father in heaven...who loves us even more than we can fathom, but He wants us to know. He wants us to get it, experience His heart...and so His Son, made it possible for us to dance our way into the throne room...curtain opened...God's heart revealed...us on His lap...hugging His neck...there's joy, laughter, grace...and mostly love!

And today especially, as we celebrate Memorial Day, a day where we honor the fallen friends, family and total strangers, who've paid the ultimate price for us, we understand sacrificial love! It's deep and weighty. It's a love for our country, our freedom, our families. A love that lays down everything held so precious and dear so that me and you can continue to live a simple life of freedom, hope and peace. And in this same place, where there is appreciation and gratitude, if we lift our eyes...we can see Jesus. He's in the sacrifice. He's in the loss. He's in the fear. He's in the pain. He's in the honor. He is the freedom, He is the hope. He is the peace. He is the joy. Because He stretched out His arms and paid the ultimate price. He just wants me to say, I need you. Everyday, for everything, it's pretty simple. The curtain is open.

God bless your broken road!

March seemed to march right through my life not caring what got trampled on...or what she took out with her. Yup...it seems a blur to me right now. The whole month was filled with sickness, pain and heartache. And not just for me. Some dear, sweet friends received devastating news regarding the health of loved ones. There's more, a lot more I could say around all of my woes, but I won't because mine are no different from yours. This is life. And it's just plain hard, sometimes. I, for one, am glad March is over. I personally am hoping for a better April. I'm just not sure that the verse I chose, or felt the Lord directed me to choose was a coincidence. Was there something He wanted to do around Romans 8:28, in my heart? Was there something that I was missing? It's easy to have the joy of the Lord when everything is going well. But what about when things aren't good at all, when in fact, they are bad? What about that? What do I do with: "And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love Him, to those who are called according to His purpose" when it looks just the opposite? When it looks like I'm getting trampled on and left in a heap, what about that? Where is my faith?

What do you do when the good is hard to see? How do you cope when bad seems to swirl all around and all but drown you trying to take you down with it? It's tough. Sometimes it's hard to keep your head above water and put one foot in front of the other, and where is God when that stubborn foot is dragging behind or pulling you down? Sometimes it takes everything you have even to utter a single prayer, other than help, Lord. Or maybe the only word that escapes is the cry for Jesus. Jesus. Jesus. And that's okay. And oh, though the pain might be great...there is comfort mixed with faith and hope and even fear, but there is something that happens when we invite Him in...to our pain, our fear, our sorrow, our confusion, our life...the real, the ugly, the dirty, the nitty-gritty hard stuff of my life, and yours.

For me it comes down to this. What is my anchor? What is grounding me? What is keeping me afloat in the midst of it all? In March, I cannot tell you how many times I said, Okay, Lord, I don't see the good here, at all, but I trust that you are going to bring good out of ________! I can't see it, but I know YOU, Your character, Your heart for your children, Your veracity...and that Your word won't be a vapor...it will accomplish Your purpose. So then, I will cling to this promise right now...like a life preserver....and I will come back to it and take hold again every time a wave tries to take me down and make me forget. You are my anchor. My shelter. My strong tower. My shield. My strength. My portion. My deliverer. My very present help. And you are the only One who can see the end from the beginning...the only One who invites beauty into the dark places and says..."Go, you don't belong here...this is MY beloved and I am doing something really great!".

I went for prayer at the end of the church service on Easter. I had been suffering from a headache for almost 3 weeks and nothing was helping, a cat scan showed nothing, nevertheless I was in pain. The woman who prayed for me had brain cancer, 16 years ago, and the Lord healed her. She spoke Ephesians 3:20 over me and I want to leave it with you as well, regardless of your circumstances, whether they look really good right now or really, really bad; He is doing a good work, He will bring good out of it and His plans for you and me are better than we ever imagined. Let's hold on to this one with everything we have. Let it be our anchor!

Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us!

May God bless all of our broken roads!

I can face tomorrow...

"Because He lives, I can face tomorrow, because He lives, all fear is gone, because I know He holds my future, life is worth the living, just because He lives". Happy Easter! Because He lives my life was radically changed 39 years ago. There's no telling where I would be today, this beautiful resurrection morning...were it not for the Lord Jesus Christ coming for me on my driveway, as a searching 15 year old, looking to her daddy for answers...answers he was too busy to give. Or maybe the questions were just to scary to delve into...after all, it was eternity I was seeking. It was meaning. It was fulfillment. It was love. It was life. And those things, he wasn't able to give me. Oh how grateful I am that he wasn't...because He was! And He still is. He is I Am. 

 ^{Mark 14:61-62}  
But He kept silent and did not answer. Again the high priest was questioning Him, and saying to Him, “Are You the Christ, the Son of the Blessed One?” ⁶² And Jesus said, “I AM; and you shall see the Son of Man sitting at the right hand of Power, and coming with the clouds of heaven.”

Can you just imagine with me for a moment what it looked like when Jesus spoke those words, I AM? I picture time standing still for a moment. The sounds of nature hushed in rare reverence, acutely aware of the Creator's voice. Hearts on fire in recognition of the holiness before them...face to the ground...in the presence of love itself. Hostility, hate and darkness swirling about, feasting on the moments about to follow...thinking they will win...only to writhe and scream 3 days later when I AM walked out of the grave...and led those saints in waiting right into the throne room of God...the great cloud of witnesses, cheering us on...and here we are today...in the presence of  I AM. I for one want my heart ablaze in recognition of all that He is, all that He purchased, redeemed, restored and imparted to me, His bride, on that beautiful resurrection morning. 
He is I AM:

• I AM a very present help in time of trouble. Psalm 46:1
• I AM the one who carries you close to my heart. Isaiah 40:11
• I AM the one who sets you free, brings joy for mourning, gladness for despair, brings beauty out of your ashes. Isaiah 61
• I AM the voice behind you saying, 'this is the way, walk in it". Isaiah 30:21
• I AM your shepherd, the one who restores your soul, the one who leads you, the one who is present in darkness, the one who comforts you, the one who calms your fears. Psalm 23
• I AM your strong shelter, your rock, your hiding place. Proverbs 18:10, Psalm 32:7, 2 Sam. 22:2
• I AM the one who strengthens you. psalm 147:13
• I AM the one who rejoices over you with singing. Zephaniah 3:17
• I AM the one who instructs you in the night. Psalm 16:7
• I AM the one who died for you. John 3:16
• I AM the one who redeemed you and calls you by name. Isaiah 43:1
• I AM the one who has engraved your name in the palm of my hand. Isaiah 49:16
• I AM the one who loves you eternally. Jeremiah 31:3
• I AM your creator. Psalm 139
• I AM the one who knows every hair on your head. Mathew 10:30
• I AM the one who is behind you, in front of you, and my very hand is upon you. Psalm 139
• I AM the king of kings, the Lord of Lords. 1 Timothy 6:15
• I AM the resurrection and the life. John 11:25
• I AM the way, the truth and the life. John 14:6
• I AM patient, merciful and loving. Duet 4:31, Psalm 36:5
• I AM the same yesterday, today and forever. Hebrews 13:8
• I AM the Alpha, the Omega, the beginning and the end. Rev 21:6
• I AM the one who is near to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. Psalm 34:18
• I AM the one who heals your diseases, and took away your shame. Isaiah 53:5
• I AM faithful and true. Revelation 19:11
• I AM good. Mark 10:8
• I AM creator of all and because of me YOU exist. Rev. 4:11
• I AM the one who gives ONLY good gifts. James 1:17
• I AM your safety. Psalm 4:8, Proverbs 18:10 
• I AM your Father. Mathew 6:26, 32, Luke 11:13
• I AM your Savior. 1 John 4:14, Jude 1:25
• I AM eternal life. John 17:3
• I AM the one who offers you grace, without condemnation...because I took your place. Romans 5:17, Romans 8:1
• I AM the one who sets you free. Romans 8:11
• I AM the one who washes you, sanctifies you, justifies you. 1 Cor 6:11
• I AM Father of mercies and God of all comfort. 2 Cor 2:13
• I AM the one who blesses you with EVERY spiritual blessing in the heavenly places. Eph. 1:3

Jealous love!

Fierce love. Jealous love. Protective love. Give up my life, my resources, all that I possess, love. Have you felt it? Do you have kids, nieces, grand-kids, a significant other, a spouse? Does anything ignite your passion for those you love like the threat of harm, impending danger or sickness? Then you know what I am talking about.

I didn’t have a great relationship with my dad. He was emotionally absent for my childhood, then he died when I was a young adult and before I could see clearly enough to know that he was a broken man. His choice to numb his pain with alcohol kept him locked in a prison of isolation. There was no room for me. I do recall though, one conversation with my dad that still means the world to me. I was in my 20’s, with young kids and dad was attending AA meetings, for the 1^st time in his life. It didn’t last long, but during that time, we had our first honest, adult, conversation. He said this to me, “Terri, you’ve never asked me for much, but I want you to know, everything I have is yours.” It wasn’t until years later that I was able to really understand the heart from which he spoke. In fact, the Lord had to show me. Even though I felt deprived of my father’s love, affection and attention…his heart toward me was a father’s heart. The prison he lived in kept caused him to make choices that wounded me, but his heart toward me was good and not evil. I experienced much comfort when I was able to see this part of my dad as separate from his actions and choices.

I laid awake the other night, the virus that I’ve had keeps waking me up with a headache. But it’s a good time to pray. Frankly, I was asking the Lord where He was, and asking to sense His presence. Then my mind was whisked off to my grand-daughters…3 precious little ones! As I began to pray for them, I was overcome with fierce love; jealous love; protective love! Give up my life, my resources, all that I possess, love! Eventually I wandered back to just asking for His presence, when all of a sudden it hit me like a ton of bricks. Everything I just experienced for my grand-daughters, and the passion with which it came upon me, was exactly how He feels toward each of His kids. I tear up when I think of it. That was His presence…in me! We’ve all experienced it. Such intense love our heart wants to explode. When that happens we’re touching the hem of His garment! We are tapping into perfect, pure, and unadulterated love. The love that is God! The perfect love He has for each one of us! To quote my earthly father, “it’s a thing of beauty.” And to quote my heavenly Father:

Yea, I have loved you with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn you. Jer. 31:3

...for he that touches you, touches the apple of my eye  Zech. 2:8

How He Loves Us (click to listen to song)

I beg to differ Mr. O'Reilly!

Love. Faith. Rest. Hope. Power. Glory. Miracles. These are the things of the Bible. This is the unseen, intangible, ethereal, "stuff" dripping off every page of the Bible. The word of God. Alive and powerful. Sharper than a two-edged sword. Cutting away bone and joint. Piercing soul and spirit. Critiquing the thoughts and the heart. Yep. That's it. Bill O' Reilly calls the book allegorical. I beg to differ Mr. O' Reilly. And I do pray that the scales fall off of your eyes, and you will see one day, like Elisha's servant, the 'invisible army' and like the red-headed, annoying brother-in-law to Kevin Costner, in Field of Dreams, when he finally was able to see all the legendary baseball players on the playing field, and said, 'hey, when did all these guys get here?' That's my prayer for you, Bill.

 Most people agree that we're spiritual people with deep longings for life, love, joy, peace...and all the intangibles that make life, well life! But I think we struggle to tap into the source, or at least the right source, and even when we're so called, plugged into God, it seems like most of us come up short. At least I do. I am always sort of puzzled when I come to the passage that says we will do greater works than Jesus did, because of His death, resurrection and the promised Holy Spirit who now resides in each of us who are His followers. I want that! I don't believe the Bible is allegorical. I believe it is relevant, here and now. So help me, help me, help me, Lord, please to walk in the love, faith, rest, hope, power, glory, and miracles, that are YOU...and that are mine...in you.

I know, I know my verse this month is Romans 8:28, and I am getting there, I think. In Judges 7,  God is whittling down Gideon's army from thousands to 300. He then tells Gideon to walk into the enemy camp all alone in the middle of the night (where he happens to hear God declare his victory through his enemy's dream).  On the day of battle Gideon is instructed to exchange his weapons for torches and trumpets. This single story has the love, faith, rest, hope, power, glory and miracles that we find all over the Bible. Today though, we're focusing on this one.

God loved Gideon, and knew even though he was walking in anxiety and fear, he was capable of so much more. So He called him out of hiding and into a task bigger than himself. One that required faith, courage, rest. Can anyone relate? What's your hiding place, need to get called out? Oh, God loves us sooooo much, He's really not gonna let us stay there. I know. Been there. Still there. Okay, then after he's called out, what happens? He has to trust in the words (you know, that allegorical book), of God. He has to step out and believe that it's perfectly okay to go traipsing around at night in the middle of a group that would rather slice him up than look at him. How hard were those steps to take? (He prepares a table for me in the presence of my enemies, anyone feel like sitting down for a late night snack about now?) Hmm. So let's see. I'm called out of my hiding place, I'm asked to whittle down my resources to a ridiculous number that will surely get me killed, and oh, I am asked to go tripping around at night in my jammies where I could possibly get my head knocked off. Okay. Sure. Dangerous. Precarious. Unsafe. Yes, to all of the above. But if it was easy, everyone would be doing it, right? And really, if God is with me and for me, how bad can it be? That's the point. That's where we need to get. But all of the feelings that rush at us, in the flesh, seem to really get in the way and hinder, FAITH and REST and OBEDIENCE. Those were Gideon's parts. And what about the next day. Talk about looking like a fool! Uhm, here Gideon, let me have your sword and shield and just uh, take these torches and trumpets, and oh, by the way, good luck! And then the power and glory came and with it victory, triumph, but what isn't said is what happened in Gideon's spirit. How hard it must have been to step out the first time, and even the second, but maybe it got easier on the third, and then he starting really believing in these 'words' that God spoke to him, and in the God behind those words! And in the process of all the ridiculous and scary things he was required to do, Gideon stepped into his destiny. He became strong, courageous and victorious, and even more than that, He believed that God was for him, and with him, and so very, very worthy of his trust and obedience. That, my friends, is such a beautiful picture of God weaving so many circumstances together and bringing a beautiful ending, so very Romans 8:28, don't ya think?

So what ridiculous, overwhelming, scary, precarious, life-threatening situation has you tiptoeing into the enemy camp? What is God requiring of you, does it seem ridiculous or outrageous, overwhelming or scary? Hmm. Ponder it. Wait. Ask. Trust. Study. Listen. It might just be the Hand of God, getting ready to move on your behalf.

You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you, Judah and Jerusalem. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged. Go out to face them tomorrow, and the LORD will be with you. 2 Chronicles 20:17

a beautiful mess...

Oh, what is it about babies, puppies and kitties that's just so irresistible? You just want to hold them, cuddle them, whisper little unintelligible things to them in goofy voices. It's the same way with down syndrome children, they are about the most lovable people on earth! So pure and unadulterated with the cynicism that comes with age, experience or heartbreak. Our hearts (as they should) invariably go out to those that can't defend themselves, or who need protection, or nurturing. Wouldn't you say they have a right to be loved, protected, nurtured, cared for? As opposed to abused, neglected, harmed, ignored? Of course!

I don't know if we realize it, but we are those puppies, kitties and babies to our Heavenly Father. Our birthright is to be loved, nurtured, cared for, and protected by Him. I've lived an entire life without standing unashamed before my Heavenly Father, with my arms wide opened, ready to receive my birthright! But it's never too late. I am His beloved child, hungry, cranky, and needing to be held. I am that little lost lamb wandering around, needing a shepherds gentle guidance. I am His kids wandering around in the desert looking for my place in this world. I am Rahab, the woman at the well, the woman caught in adultery...beaten down by shame and sins I'd rather not mention. I am David, Gideon, and Jonah, complicated, messy and human, yet full of Him all at once! I am Peter...spouting off at the mouth one minute and falling on my face in worship and adoration, the next. I am Joseph, surviving injustice, betrayal and heartbreak, yet seeing the golden thread of 'His working all things together for good' in my life. I am Mary...sitting at His feet enjoying every word that comes out of His mouth, and I am Martha, worrying and anxious about the dumbest little things. 

I'm a paradox. A contradiction. I am a beautiful mess. Just like my com-padres in the Bible. Can you relate? But I'm his kid. We're his kids. Whatever is lacking in your life, your heart, your emotions, your relationships, know this, it's not His doing. And He isn't standing there with His checklist of where you don't measure up. He sees the messes, but the thing that is front and center is your birthright. Those are the lenses through which He sees you and me. The debt was paid, the inheritance of His firstborn is now ours and He sees us as beautiful, beloved, children. His arms are open wide. Always. Always. Always.

If you belong to Christ, then you are Abraham's seed, and heirs according to the promise. 
Galatians 3:29