Life in the Path

I've been thinking about finding 'life in the path', and sometimes it's just plain easier to talk about it, than to live it out. We've all had some curve balls thrown our way. Clearly unexpected, painful, scary, lonely, sad, uncertain, unusual, things. Things that rocked our boats. Things that made the path look, well, not so path-y...more like treacherous, jagged-rock, cliff-y!

For me, finding my husband in a life-threatening coma, was one of those. He experienced an Addisonian crisis. The crisis itself was short-term, brought on by fasting, easily correctable. But the results on me, finding him, fearing he was dying in my arms, the way he looked, the sounds coming out of his mouth, the eyes open but no signs of life there...those were long term.

The path of life didn't feel so safe to me after that. And even though the Lord's presence was there, there, there...and I can tell you stories of HOW there He was...which I will...later, I still walked around in fear of the treacherous path...because on any given day, guess what? It could happen again. I am just a sitting duck out here in the scary world...all the more reason to live in fear, hide and protect my assets. Right? It's funny, you can be going along doing so well, (or so it seems) and then one day, something comes along and flattens you! Squashed. Just like that.

So how does one make the transition? How do I peel myself off of the pavement? What does that look like? The challenge for me is to remember He IS in the details. It's hard when the details leave a lot to be desired, but I am coming to the realization that even the bad things have a reason, a lesson, a silver-lining if you will. So I am beginning to ask the Lord, where are you in this? I was talking with a friend recently, who was struggling in the workplace. Maybe the fit wasn't quite right yet. There were lots of untapped resources and they felt frustration on many levels. There were menial things wasting time that could have been spent on greater accomplishments. As I listened and pondered, I began to ask the Lord, "where are you in this?" When my friend told me the things that brought enjoyment, I realized that the enjoyment was derived from the relationships that came from the menial tasks. The Lord was clearly bringing joy...albeit, not in the expected way.

So maybe I've been looking in the wrong places for joy. Maybe my focus has been on the path instead of the path maker. Maybe I need a change in how I look at the details of my day! Perhaps I need to turn my gaze a little bit and begin to ask different questions...questions that bubble up out of faith and assurance that He is with me and there is a reason, a lesson, a silver-lining, a hope, a goodness, a 'something redeemable' here because He is here...in the details. He is in my details...and your details.

Psalm 139 is such a beautiful reminder of the intimate relationship He desires to have with us.
...you know my sitting down and my rising up
...you understand my thoughts
...you comprehend my path (phew, glad someone does)
...you're acquainted with all my ways
...before there is a word on my tongue...you know it
...you surround me, behind and before
...your hand is on me
...where can I go from your Spirit
...where can I flee from your presence
...your thoughts toward me outnumber the sand

I just realized today that He went to the Garden every day to talk with Adam and Eve. He enjoyed them. He walked and talked with them because He wanted to. He pursued relationship with them. He knew everything about them. He loved hanging out with his children. He is no different today, with you and with me. He is the the details of our lives too!!!!