"Don't be a sourpuss"

Loving and condoning are two different things entirely. For so many years though, I got them confused. If I didn't like a behavior, a decision, an action, and especially if it caused me pain or feelings of disappointment, then I would react, and my feelings of love would be stilted. That reaction might take the form of angry words, withdrawal, pouting, pretending, ignoring, oh, I'm sure I am leaving something out, but you get the drift. Then one day, it occurred to me, well...let's give credit where credit is due...then one day the Lord spoke to me very clearly, about my sour attitude. "Don't be a sourpuss", are the words I actually heard, not audibly of course. I almost laughed out loud, because who really uses that expression anymore? But indeed, I WAS acting like a sourpuss! How does that attitude express love to those around you? How does that cause anyone to want to know Me?

I was under the belief that if I loved those around me, in the face of 'icky stuff', that somehow I was condoning all the stuff I didn't like, and that somehow I must be pretending everything is hunky dory when it isn't. And let me just say, that after growing up in an alcoholic home where I pretended everything was 'fine' my whole life, I am NOT into pretending, folks. I want to be real, honest and get down to the nitty gritty. Hmm, seems like I took that one a little too far, at least in this case.

It goes back to the what I've been learning about loving our neighbor as ourselves. How do we want to be treated? Do I want to live with a sourpuss? Do I want to be treated with honor and respect in spite of all my warts? Do I want grace in the face of my disappointing ways? Well, of course I do! Naturally this begs the question, how do I walk this out?

I can't. Let me just say it again, I can't. Impossible. I'm an utter failure at unconditional love. But He can, He really and truly can in me and in you! 'Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness and ALL these things shall be added unto you'. Two things I will talk about in future posts will facilitate this: Rest and Grace. How many times have I heard that I need to 'surrender all' to God? Just give it all up? That's really great, but I don't even know what ALL is. One day it might be a lie that has kept me from believing and experiencing His love for me and another day it might be that I am acting like a sourpuss...who knows? (He does). Resting in the fact that He will show me from day to day is so very foundational...and trusting that He will provide the grace for me to be able to experience the Holy Spirit's power to love through me is a vital daily prayer! Left to my own devices I might hit the 'love target' once in awhile, but it's not consistent and it's usually based on my strengths not on His. Living a life that neither condones or condemns requires of me a little more and a little less. A little more time in His presence, getting to know Him and love Him (with all my heart, soul, mind and strength), a little more rest in His power 'made strong' in me when I am weak, a little less of my agenda wanting to jump in and 'just do it my way', and also a little more...grace...me receiving it from Him and me extending it to others. So there it is, rest and grace. Let's just all breathe a giant sigh of relief...and you thought this was all on you...honey...we've only just begun to experience the breadth and height and depth of His love in us, to us and through us. Sigh. Smile.