Unveiled faces...

"In your presence is fullness of joy!" So what happens when I don't have joy? What happens when life or things, or stuff, or 'whatever' just kind of sneaks up on me and little by little, or maybe even in one fell swoop...steals my joy? What do I do with that?

I was having a great day, experiencing the joy of the Lord when something happened. It was something I had no control over, but disappointed me greatly. An anticipation turned awry. Excitement that turned into confusion and even a sense of betrayal. As I struggled with those feelings and more, I really didn't know how to walk in joy, or even begin to 'get the joy' back. Finally, it dawned on me to take my laundry list of feelings right into the throne room...and just simply and plainly ask the Lord for His perspective. I didn't try and sugar coat or hide anything from Him, I laid it all out, the whole ugly truth...and the most amazing thing happened! He met me there. He gave me some insight that I needed to see the situation differently. I was then able to look through the eyes of grace, His grace, instead of the myopic view I had at first glance. 

God is for us! I think I could meditate on that one for the rest of my life and never exhaust all of the ways in which He is for me (us). I could also make a list right now of all the things that are against me. Myself included! Not only do situations, people, distractions, and the general stuff of life rob me of joy, but I am probably the biggest culprit. My beliefs, my lack of belief, my preoccupation with self, my sins, my religion...you name it. Recently I had one of those days. (this is what happens when I don't write for a couple of days, I am on a trip so it has been a challenge). I had another one of those days where my own standards and expectations of myself led me to a place of disappointment. I struggled to find my way to the place of joy and peace in His presence. And once again, I pulled back the curtain to the throne room...honest, transparent,confused and needing answers...hoping to find Him there.

I wasn't disappointed. As I am learning to come to Him, warts and all...feelings, inadequacies, inconsistencies, failures,unrealistic expectations for myself and others...etc., He continues to gently and tenderly wash me with rivers of grace and love. I am beginning to understand the Father's embrace from a new place. A place where I am not in the way. A place where grace spills over offering acceptance regardless of my "but I'm not!" His kindness leads me to repentance. I repent from thinking His grace could be stomped out by anything I ever did or didn't do. That it was never, ever, ever, about me...not in that sense anyway! It was only about me in that His arms are big enough to stretch the length of the cross and encompass me in a love that transforms me! An embrace so deep, so long, so heartfelt, so perfectly pure and fatherly, that it washes away all of my shame. I walk away different. How can I stay the same? I behold...then I become.

And we all, who with unveiled faces contemplate the Lord’s glory, are being transformed into his image with ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit. 2 Cor. 3:18

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.Psalm 34:5