Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Beautiful Mess!

Even though I haven't mentioned Psalm 16:11 a whole lot lately, it dawned on me that I am beginning to experience it in a deeper more relevant way. The path of life, the fullness of joy, the pleasures of God...okay I won't go overboard. I can't really wrap my head around the pleasures of God...maybe bits and pieces, and little glimpses...but that's okay...I am in process, right? And oh boy! what a process! I love, love, love, the depths of God. I am a deep and complex person, just ask my husband. I probably think way too much, but I can't out-think God. And that, my friends, is the coolest thing ever. He's deep, complex and inexhaustible in His wisdom and His wisdom is totally available to me in a very practical way! And that's the 'path of life' part of today's entry.

So, yesterday, a seeming innocuous conversation I had with a loved one, led to a loving confrontation. I was confronted with a bit of truth that wasn't very pleasant to hear. It was like taking a look in the mirror and seeing a giant pus filled zit on your face. Lovely analogy, right? It wasn't what I wanted to hear, and more than that, it wasn't who I want to be. My first reaction was to go to self-pity (privately of course, took it up with the Big Guy). But my prayer to Him, after going 'there' from my pity-party, was more like, 'please show me the truth'. And so He did. I really want to share what He showed me because it was brilliant and simple and it happened while I was washing dishes, in fact, not only that, He used those dishes as the example. I will explain, but first, let me marvel over the fact that the complex master mind of the universe, used a simple mundane event to teach me a valuable lesson. I just love how down to earth and real He is!



As I was standing there doing dishes, it occurred to me that recently, when we had an extended visitor to our home, every dish he used, was washed or put in the dishwasher, immediately. Normally, we let a few gather here and there and when there are enough, or I'm sick of looking at them, I'll load the dishwasher. The thing is, having our guest 'up the ante', so to speak, by being so conscientious, really motivated me to try and be better. Since then I have really worked hard to keep things up. I realized how that person's presence had a positive effect on my life. That is really cool! Seems like a little thing, probably not very life changing right? But that’s what the Lord used to help me with the current confrontational news. Proverbs says, 'Iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another'.  When we are around others who take the high road, it causes us to want to do the same thing. In sports, playing a superior opponent, will only sharpen the weaker team. And of course, we've all seen the movies where one of the lovers proclaims a passionate, "being with you makes me want to be a better person", hmm, suddenly that makes a lot more sense to me. So how might you ask, does this apply to my latest confrontation? Well, first let me say that I felt justified in a certain attitude, an attitude born out of disappointment. It wasn't created in a vacuum...there was a reason for my disappointment...and in my mind...it was a good one. Still, what came from the (unresolved) disappointment was an attitude that was hurtful and brought pain to someone I love.What I saw, as I stood there doing dishes was that I can't let the hardships of life define me. I can’t let what I've lost, or don’t have, or what I wish I had, or used to have, or whatever…create my attitudes and my actions. I get to choose! I get to decide if I will take the high road or not! I get to be the iron that will sharpen those around me. My gosh, it doesn’t detract from me if I am gracious in the face of __________, you fill in the blank….it only makes me better…and maybe, just maybe, it will lift up those around me! This might sound like a simplification, and I am certainly not advocating performance or pretending, more like, turning the other cheek, refusing to be 'offended', going to grace vs angst...we do get to choose! The thing is, I will fail at this, miserably, because I am such a human contradictory mess...but I am a beautiful mess to Jesus! And that's why my Helper, Teacher, Comforter, hangs out with me while I am doing dishes...to show me the path of life and how to get back on it when I take a little detour. Hallelujah!

p.s. Just so you know, I had to sit down with the Lord today and get to the bottom of the disappointment...it doesn't just disappear on it's own. But in His faithfulness, He showed me what I needed to see :)

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